


Bad Dates With the Nogitsune: Alan Deaton - Climbing Poles

by FiccinDylan



Series: Bad Dates With the Nogitsune [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Fajitas, Humor, M/M, bad dates with the nogitsune, pokey, this is deaton's year of YES, turning cute sick animals into carne asada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 10:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1775095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Stiles was exercised from the Nogitsune, Noggy's felt like something was missing. He couldn't stand the frenetic energy always bouncing around in him, but now that it was gone he felt a little empty.</p>
<p>While at the grocery store shopping for marinade he sees someone in a leather jacket who peeks his interest: Alan Deaton.</p>
<p>This is a series of shorts featuring the Nogitsune going on dates with various people from Beacon Hills. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Dates With the Nogitsune: Alan Deaton - Climbing Poles

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: [FiccinDylan](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)
> 
>    
> Nope, still don't know.

“I don’t know, I just feel like after everything that happened last year, I really have to get back to  _ME_ .  To learning who I am and really understanding what I want out of life.”  Deaton swirled his finger around the rim of his wine glass as he watched the Nogitsune prepare their vegetables for the evening.  He was chopping green peppers, red peppers and onions into strips and throwing them on the stovetop grill.  They were having fajitas!

“I’m really glad you called me, though I gotta say, I was taken aback at first.”  Deaton peared at the back of the Nogitsune’s head.  He swore he could see eyes there.  The Nogitsune simply chuckled and shrugged.

“You and I have a very interesting history Alan.  You tried to kill me many times without realizing that while I was hurting people who were important to you, I was also just doing my job.  Just as your job was to hurt people who were important to me.”  Deaton nodded even though he knew Noggy was only referring to himself.

“I know Noggy, I think once I realized that it wasn’t personal, it allowed me to fully accept you for you.  And then be able to rest in the notion that  _you_ would accept  _me…_ for me.”  The Nogitsune placed a cold, scaly hand on Deaton’s who shivered.  It’d been a long time since anyone paid him this sort of attention.  Deaton was the first to move in as Noggy leaned forward to meet Deaton’s lips.

“OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!” Deaton’s head jerked in surprise towards the door where he sees Stiles on the other side completely incredulous at the scene before him.  Noggy unlocked the door letting Stiles in.

“Stilinski?  What are you doing here?  How do you even know where Noggy lives?”  Stiles puts his hand up and shakes his head trying to get Deaton to focus on the bigger picture.

“I was drawn here, probably by this jackass.”  Noggy smiled and nodded. “That’s not the point Deaton, what the hell are  _you_ doing here?”  Stiles turned towards Noggy while still addressing Deaton.  

“You know he’s a psychopathic fox spirit that does nothing but wreak havoc on any and everyone you care about!”  Stiles turned back towards Deaton, “You of all people should-” but before he could finish the sentence he was interrupted by a syringe needle to the neck.

“ _Biiiiiitc-_ ” Stiles slurred as he slumped to the ground, looking at the immunization gun in Deaton’s grip and the grin of betrayal on his face.  Deaton nodded and looked at Noggy who was nearly gleeful at this turn of events.

“God I love doing that.”  Deaton smirked a bit sadistically before reaching out for Noggy’s hand.  “He’ll be out for a while, now where were we?”  They enjoyed a leisurely dinner of carne asada and conversation before moving to dessert.  Cherries flambe’ was on the menu and Deaton clapped in delight as Noggy lit the drunken cherries on fire.  The two cuddled watching the flames go down and after dessert Noggy showed off even more of his talents by playing Deaton a little jazz bassoon.  This was when Stiles finally woke up.

“What the shit Deaton?!” he said groggily as Noggy began to pack up the meat and veggies in separate containers while also making a to-go container for Deaton to take with him later.  “Why would you do that?  I’m only trying to help you see this dude is totally crazy.”

“I’ll tell you why I did it, Stiles.”  Deaton took a step towards Stiles who wisely took three steps away.  Unfortunately this was three steps into Noggy who frustratedly pushed him forward.  Stiles was stuck but relaxed when Deaton put up both hands letting him know he was no longer packing.

“Stiles, besides the fact that I’m a druid, what do you know about me?”  Stiles searched his brain for the things he knew about Deaton.

“Umm, I don’t know.  You’re a vet, you’re Scott’s boss, you have random artifacts that are usually relevant to whatever we’re working on at the time and you look badass in leather.”  Deaton raised his eye slightly at that last confession as Stiles nervously fidgeted and Noggy stood watching him menacingly.

“Don’t you think that’s a problem Stiles?  That those are the only things you know about me?  I’ve traversed the desert and I’ve delivered babies, both human and animal.  I’ve climbed Kilimanjaro and I’ve been to the North and South Poles.  I’ve dived off cliffs, flown planes, eaten the most dangerous sushi and the only thing you know about me is enough to satisfy your leather fetish?”  Stiles threw his hands up.

“I don’t have a leather fetish!  That thing with Derek was completely misinterpreted and-” he stopped shortly as he could see he was just proving Deaton’s point.  “Okay, so I get that I don’t know a lot about you, but what does that have to do with you dating the  _thing-_ ” at this Noggy winced a bit, feigning offense, “-who kept me inside of him for an indeterminate amount of time?”  

Deaton walked up to the Nogitsune and put his arms sweetly around his waist.  He looked at Stiles as though this should explain everything.

“He asked.  He asked me on a date and this is the year that I start saying YES!  Yes to opening up to people and yes to not only letting people learn about me, but also learning about myself!”  Stiles exhaled and rubbed his temples..

“Dude, I want you to be..  _happy_ , but there are better ways.  You should know about this guy, he’s a monster Deaton.”  Deaton patted Noggy on the back and sat on a stool at the breakfast bar.  

“Noggy has some perilous methods, I agree, but usually his motivations aren’t corrupted.”  Stiles looked at Deaton as though he were losing his mind.  Stiles felt like he’d already lost his own mind.

“You know we share a consciousness Deaton.  I… I hate to say this, but he-”

“Released all the animals at the clinic?  I know Stiles.  He said he did it so that animal control would have something to do and I could take time for our date tonight.  Again, a bit unorthodox, but well intentioned.”  

“Deaton, you realize that by ‘ _released all the animals_ ’ he really meant ‘ _killed them and bbq’d them and turned them into carne asada and that’s what you’re eating now_ ’, right?”  Deaton looked at the care package on the counter and back at Noggy who simply shrugged.  He turned back to Stiles.

“A grill master with exotic taste?  Many a person would jump at a find like that.”  Stiles dropped his shoulders completed defeated.  He’d lost another round and was about to lose another as he considered Deaton’s container of still warm food on the counter.  He looked at Noggy who smirked at him judgingly.

“Oh fuck you, this is your fault!” he said before grabbing the container and running out the door.  Noggy locked it behind him and pulled the shade.

“Kid’s gotta eat.  I do what I can.”  He walked over to where Deaton was still perched at the bar and put his arm around him nuzzling his neck.  Deaton sighed gently.

“Mmm.. what are we gonna do now?”  Noggy nipped gently at Deaton’s shoulder and rubbed his stomach that was still full of their delicious dinner.  He whispered sensually into Deaton’s ear.

“Well I’m going to take you upstairs and tie you to the bed.  Then I’m going to leave you there for 3 days with food and water just out of reach.”  Deaton nodded.

“It’ll be nice to get some R&R”  Deaton got up and took hold of Noggy’s hand, leading him to the stairs.  Noggy stopped him.

“I want to carry you.”  Deaton was impressed and a bit titillated.

“That’s hardly necessary but if you ins- _OW_!” Deaton was surprised at a sudden sharp prick in the side of his neck..

“Payback’s a bitch.” Noggy said as he emptied the kanima poison into Deaton’s jugular.  

“O _hh_ , you got… _meeee_ ” Deaton said as he slid to the floor happy.  As Noggy dragged him clumsily up the stairs he couldn’t help but inwardly smile.  He was sure Scott and the gang would come save him in a few days and finally it would be all about him.  

 It was the best night of his entire life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Again, my apologies.


End file.
